Pencil ThievesWe all create our own comic book stories within our heads. We, the dashing and debonair hero. Our enemy, the loather of children, butterflies, and all that is good. Sometimes your enemy is the dastardly villain who keeps delivering your mail yet. Sometimes it is just the coworker who steals everybody else's pencils. Maybe it is a rival in the classroom, workplace, or sports team. Whoever this boor is, though, it is obvious that he/she must be dealt with. But how do you defeat the wretched brute?
The most obvious method is a counteroffensive. For the coworker who spirits away writing implements, a heavy-duty laxative in their morning coffee seems a just punishment. While chasing after the knave with a baseball bat is also a very viable option, there are other, subtler ways to alert your archnemesis that judgement is being passed upon him. Sleeping pills in coffee, itching powder, tacks in unusual places, various works of espionage on your part that lead to blackmail, and all sorts of ot
The Temptation: Chapter 3Kate sat there, motionless. Her large brown eyes shone bright with anger. She tilted her head slightly to look out the window, the only movement she dared permit herself. Birds flashed by, their song, raucous and shrill, drilling into her already pounding skull. Beyond that sudden burst of movement, life was still. The trees stood, motionless. The leaves drooped, ever so slightly. The intense heat radiated in, slow and sluggish. Sweat trickled down the back of her neck, and she shifted, physical discomfort only adding to her irritation.
She looked at the man sitting across the table from her, rambling about the latest Crossfire. God. Why won't he shut up? But all the silent pleas in the world wouldn't brake his tongue. Gerald flashed another brilliant smile, and Kate shoved it aside mentally as he switched to old Mustangs. She imagined riding a white Mustang over the North American plains. The feel of muscle bunching and stretching under her thighs, the wind whipping through her
the human soulNow I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul will keep.
And if I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul will take.
What a load of poppycock!
Why anyone believes this rot.
Some people do, but as for me.
I live in an objective reality.
What that means is that my mind
is the closest to a soul you'll find.
And there ain't a soul for God to save,
After I die, I'll stay in the grave.
So now I lay me down to sleep;
if I die, then bury me deep!
hometown in hellHell is
brimstone landscapes, vast, putrid.
pain tastes like the mystery loaf.
screams without sanity echo in the dark corners;
your companions are all the insecurities that you can't handle.
in the night, i was forced to meet them, face to face.
screaming in agony, i fell to my knees and wished to cry.
a dream of heaven. what a cruel place this is.
my mind tells me what to do.
humans create their own personal hells.
never cloudy, never sunny,
.:how to tie your shoes:.Step 1. Fiddle with two ends of sholace. Swear occasionally for emphasis.
Step 2. Look around house for instructions on how to tie shoes. If one is found, skip ahead to Step 15. If not, please proceed.
Step 3. Go to bookstore. If a book is in stock with instructions on how to tie shoes, buy it, go home and skip ahead to Step 15. If book is not found, go home without shoes being tied and continue to follow instructions.
Step 4. Perform internet search. Swear occasionally at useless popups for bingo, tornado insurance, and free porn. Close all popups except for free porn. Go to dictionary.com. Look up "shoelace". Go to slangnet.com. Look up "shoelace". Notice that it is slang for a pipe bomb.
Step 5. Do an internet search on pipe bombs. Look at free porn popups instead. Remember that you are looking for pipe bombs. Go to Ebay. Type in "incendiary devices". Find weapons-grade plutonium. Email owner. Find out that he is from North Korea. Plan to visit him.
Step 6. Obtain funds for trip to
The Temptation: Chapter 2Kate rose earlier than usual the next morning. Her dreams had been full of dark nights and strange creatures. Something about the book had lingered in her mind, but she shook it off as the workings of an overactive imagination. As she prepared for school, her eyes fell on the book. She picked it up and placed it in her backpack, thinking she would read a little more of it during lunch hour.
Breakfast was even quieter than dinner had. Jill had been talking to her boyfriend on the phone until 3AM, so she yawned through every other mouthful of cereal. Alex and Jenny were still sleeping, and Kate didn't feel like talking.
Kate drove to school silently. Jill, in the passenger's seat, was silent until she looked over at Kate and asked, "Why don't you date?"
Kate didn't reply immediately. She shifted her focus quickly onto her little sister's face before returning her gaze to the road, "I guess I am not interested in the boys here. Why?"
"Because you are the only girl at Jefferson who doesn't